Twilight, again. . .

This time, I ain't gonna blab about the suck-i-ness of the books or the movies.

I'm just going to dedicate this post to Shane Dawson and his awesome videos, including this video: Twilight vid by Shane Dawson <--(Click me)

Hope you Anti-Twilight-ers enjoy watching it as much as I did (and still do)

Insanity

Man, it's been a while since the last time I posted something on here. School and all that jazz are keepin' me busy... watcha gotta do 'bout it, y'know?
Anyway, I think I'll post this for now, and then go finish my homework.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Gender They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity. . .

20. Stalk Everyone On The Internet. (Whether Online, Or Real Life Friends)

It's Called Therapy...

Hopefully, I'll be back soon with a new post.

Twilight Sucks Ya'll...

I'm sure you've heard of the Twilight craze, a series of vampire books written by Stephanie Meyer. Frankly, these books are just awful, and there should only be two kinds of people reading them: 12-year-old girls, and people seeking to read something humorous. And I say humorous because it IS - the writing is so bad, and comical. These books are seeking to destroy any glimmering hope that today's youth will emerge as a literate, intelligent generation. And, being a part of that generation myself, that's just not cool with me at all.

I want people to understand how horrible - terrible these books are: truly, and honestly just plain bad. Stephanie Meyer just doesn't write well, and I guess her editors are third graders. . . Or giraffes? I don't know how these books could land on the shelves, but they have, and they are filled with a copious amount of glaring and awful mistakes.

Now, I'm not going to go through all the mistakes, because, I just didn't bother to read the books, and didn't really watch all the Twi-movies, and that's because I didn't want to risk having a heart attack. But as far as I know, I think the plot is pretty damn boring to tears―fall-asleep-reading-it-boring.

On second thought. . . there is NO plot actually. O.e ßtwitch.

Honestly, you can summarize the whole series in one sentence: A girl falls in love with a vampire, who she winds up with together forever despite a few minor discrepancies.That's it, really. The rest is fluffy, boring filler. The "climax" takes place in the last two chapters of the books and has nothing to do with the preceding 400 pages. The "conflict" is resolved far too easily.

I want to take this opportunity to present Stephanie Meyer with a gift. It's a simple plot graph:

See, Steph? there needs to be a balance of rising action and falling action, squeezin' in a giant, juicy mount in the plot. I learned this in first grade, and have written quite a few stories since then, using this as my guide. If you use this as a tool for your future books, I'm sure you will not have hundreds of websites/ blogs dedicated to the hate of your story: Twilight.

Another way to summarize the whole thing:

Bella: I’m an annoying Mary-sue  who hates everything about the place I moved to! I don’t know why I bothered moving in with my dad. [insert angry face here]

Charlie: Yo, wuzzup? I got you a truck, ‘cause I'm awesome like that.

Bella: Oh I hate you, I hate this place, I hate my life, and I hate the bird droppings that I call my brain!

Charlie:  'kay, cool. Now, leave me alone. I want to watch baseball.

[School Day]

Bella: I hate it here. Humph. [What an unexpected surprise.]

Every guy in the school: OMG, You’re so hot! Marry me.

Bella: Ewww! No, you’re nasty.

Jessica: HEY, WE GO TO THE SAME CLASSES.

Bella: OMG, who is the god-like man sitting there with all the other pretty people!

Jessica: That's Edward Cullen.

Bella: I love him!

[Insert bored-to-death-and-is-about-to-throw-up face here]

Edward: I hate you, you snob.

Bella: NO FAIR! *emowhine*

[No plot line at all - more boring crap load]

Bella: *is about to die*

Edward: *Saves Bella*

Bella: OMG, u saved me!!!!!!!!!!!111111oneoneoneone!!!!111!!.

Edward: Meh, don’t talk to me, get in the ambulance. I still hate you, you're still a snob. I just didn’t want you to die. [What the hell sense does that make?]

[Later on]

Bella: *Almost gets kidnapped while dress shopping* [WHAT THE HELL?]

Edward: *saves again*

Bella: JACOB TOLD ME YOU ARE A VAMPIRE!!!!!!

Edward: Yep, I’m a vampire, and I decided I love you.

Bella: Finally! *Cha-ching!*

Edward: You should hate me, Bella. I’m dangerous. And I sparkle.

Bella: So? I’m a Mary-sue, and I don’t listen to rules, because I’m $%#@* hardcore. RAWR! Wait. . .you sparkle? *laughs on the inside*

Edward: I’ll show you someday.

[Insert continuous lack of plot here]

Alice: Sup, I can see the future - you're gonna die, gurl.

[Insert more lovey-dovey-Edward/Bella here]

Edward: Alice saw it storming. *silence* let’s go play baseball!

Bella: lol, wut?

[Cullen family plays baseball vampire style, woohoo. -_-']

Three random-weird-looking vampires: Vuzzup G? Hey, I see you brought food, how nice of you.

Cullen’s: No! She’s with us. *in a firm tone.*

James: Oh well, she smells tasty I’m 'onna hunt 'er! *orange (supposed to be red) eyes.*

Bella: Trust me I taste way worse than I smell. *hides face with a baseball bat.*

James: *Finds her house and attracts her there.*

Bella: EEEEP!

James: lol, you were stupid enough to come. *almost kills her*

[Later on]

Bella: Oh hey, look! I survived, all thanks to my one true love, Edward! Oh no *British accent*, mah leg is broken.

Edward: Hello girl I am so in love with I would do anything for! Your mother's here.

Bella’s mother: I think that boy might be in love with you. *Pssh. Stating the obvious. Like Bella didn't know that*

Bella: Yep, I love him too! OMG, lol, we’re soul mates!!!!! *too many '!'s*

[Even Later]

Bella: Oh, Shoot! You’re taking me to prom!? How could I not realize that Alice dressing me up in a fancy designer dress and doing my hair and makeup on the day of the prom could mean that! Total surprise! But wait, I’m only a junior. Why the Hell am I even going to prom?!

Edward: I love you, let's dance.

Bella: I can’t dance. Lol, let's go have a sappy-cliché moment outside instead.

Edward: Okay. *sparkles* (He didn't actually sparkle, but hell; I bet he might as well have.)

********

Lastly, I would like to post a letter to all those Twilight fans out there, so here it goes...

Dear Twilight-ers, 


  Okay, fine, so you like Twilight. I get it. Now for the love of everything nice in this forsaken universe! Stop plaguing the internet with a gaziillion notes, MS Paint signs, ect... dedicated to your love of it. Stop shoving Twilight down my throat on every website I visit. Just Cut. It. Out. If I see another Facebook Bumper Sticker about Twilight, I will scream and bang my head against the wall.

  And please, please, please, I'm begging you, stop talking about Edward or/and Jacob. You want to meet a guy like Edward? Seriously? He's not even real, people. He's just character in a book. I promise you, no matter how much you whine, you will never, ever, ever find a perfect and sparkly 107-year-old vampire who will fall in love with the scent of your blood, and frankly, I think you're really odd for even wanting that in the first place. Really, though, just stop. Edward is not real and you're annoying the rest of us.

  Also, could you please stop comparing Twilight to the Harry Potter series? I mean it.  Lyk fo' se-ri-ous. Harry Potter is way better than Twilight on so many levels, and that's not even just a personal opinion. Nobody could deny the fact that the plot of the Harry Potter series is just so much more developed, and it's just an enjoyable read for all ages. Harry Potter has lasting impressions on everybody that reads it... for YEARS! Twilight will be forgotten in the next two years, folks.

With love,

Me.

That was it for the day. I'll be back soon.

Laterz.

First Day of School

The title says it all.

Today was the first day of school.

I finally was reunited with my friends whom I barely talked to during the summer vacation. It was really exciting. I mean, sure, I woke up at 6 AM, and was half asleep when I arrived to school, but I got to see mah friendiez. ßAwesome. :3

Anyway, we kept talkin' and talkin' and talkin' (we girls do that all the time. It's not a weird thing).

Then, the bell rang, and we finally got rid of that 1000 year old music tape that was playing over and over and over again―Squeaky music? Sappy? I don't know... I can't find the best word to describe it actually.

It was turning out as a pretty good day. Until. . .

. . .Until we discovered that our posy has been separated among three sections―A, B, and C. I got separated from my two best-est friends, Joujou and Loulou. I'm now in section B, Loulou's in section A, and Joujou's in section C. Though, I'm going to move to Joujou's section. Loulou's gonna do that too.

Today―of course―we couldn't switch classes. Our parents should talk to the administration first, for them to change our classes and all that jazz. (No, our principal ain't the president of the United States. . . Not sure if she thinks so, but I'm sure she ain't.)

I entered my class. It's big, decorated, and all the fans and lights work! No burned lamps...

Our math teacher was the one to greet us when we first came into the class. (By the way, she's the same teacher who used to teach us last year).

As always, she introduced herself along with the subject and what we're going to take this year, then the students introduced themselves to her.

She distributed papers and asked us to write any question that pops into our minds, and  hand them to her. It's some sort of a game, where she redistributes the papers randomly and the students should then open the papers, read the questions, and try to answer them.

The question I received was: "Cries but doesn't have eyes. Flies but doesn't have wings. What is it?"

It's obvious that the answer is: "The Cloud."

My question was: "How does the laptop's cooling system work?"

Unfortunately, no one was able to answer it. *facepalm*

I mean, sheesh ya'll! It ain't hard! Don't they watch 'How does it work' on the Discovery Channel? Wait... never mind. (I'm sure they don't―too superficial to do it. xP)

The second game was interesting as well. Miss F. handed each girl (yes, boys leave school when we reach 10th grade) a paper including some questions; 3 parts, each part's made of 7 questions.

Here are the questions:

I- 1) I love to read books, stories, and magazines.
   2) I like to read instructions instead of hearing them.
   3) I write a grocery list before going to the store.
   4) I forget names but remember the names.
   5) I prefer my house to be clean and tidy.
   6) I like to see presentations and graphs.
   7) I prefer face to face meetings.

II- 1) I love to listen to music.
    2) I like to hear comments, orally.
    3) I always talk while thinking.
    4) I forget recognize peoples' faces but remember names.
    5) Noise and voices irk me.
    6) I like to hear dialogue between people.
    7) I don't like to use maps as guides to the right path.

III- 1) I like to walk and move while doing my work.
     2) I use body and hand gestures a lot.
     3) I always like to go outdoors.
     4) When I listen to music, I tap on the table with my finger.
     5) I remember mostly everything I did with others.
     6) I ignore instructions and directly skip to performing work.
     7) I get distracted by the activities and actions surrounding me.

So, here's how this test works:

You read each question, and rate it according to you. (1-5: 1 being the lowest, and 5 being the highest). Then, add the numbers together. (i.e: you answered the 7 questions in the first part. you got... let's say... 3, 4, 1, 5, 5, 2, 5. You add them all together, and write the score aside). Same thing applied to the second and third parts. (each part has its own score). The group with the highest score determines the best way that you learn/ grasp information through. (Why am I feelin' that this sentence makes no sense?)

Anyways, you get the concept.

Highest score in group:

I- Best way to learn is via sight. (you prefer to use your eyes in the learning process).

II- Best way to learn is via hearing. (you prefer to use your ears to hear things around you and learn new things).

III- Best way to learn is via body movements and gestures.

I'm a member of group I, though, I learn via hearing and gestures as well. Meh...

So you see, it was a pretty interesting day. We spend the rest of the time having random conversations with Miss F.

I'm now still waiting for my parents to talk to the principal - I want to get transferred to my friend's class so bad.

So, I have 3 days vacation now. I'll post something new soon.

Adios for now.

*Bloop*

Howdy. *tips hat*

I'm Light (No, my family name ain't Bulb. Pssh). I'm a fifteen-year-old weirdo who likes to eat yoghurt with practically anything.  

 (That's me.)

I thought doing this was more appealing to me than staring at the ceiling, or just sit down and watch my five-year old sister play Barbie Fashion Show. Whenever I'm having writer's/artist's block (laziness to be exact), need a break from studying (yes, I decided that I should actually study this year), or just don't know what to do in the gap between when I finish working and when I have to go to bed - I figured I'd blog.

I'm in grade 11. And I have normal (unlike myself) friends whom I like to sing Barney and Spacetoon's songs with during Sociology sessions.

Math sessions are mostly awful; I don't like math in general. Well, I can't say that there ain't some pretty interesting lessons, but all in all, I hate it. Bleh.

So, now, we move from my worst nightmares, to my best dream ever: drawing.

Drawing is my life. Awesome-est (my own dictionary) thing ever! It’s the purest form of art.
"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad."

That was a random quote by Salvador Dali. But anyways. . .  I’m hopefully going to post some of my artwork later on.

Anyway...

Back to blogging.

It's a cool thing, and I've been wanting to blog since a while back, but never did. Until yesterday, I just pulled myself together and decided that I'm not going to feel what it's like―to blog―until I create my own blog and start posting. So, as you can see, I'm really adventurous. . . I'm wild! Always willing to take on challanges. Arrg―wait, I'm a cowgirl, not a pirate―Yeeha!


Yes, I'll be back later with a new post.

Glass pieces shattered outside. Peace out.